Love in Bollywood

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What is Love? Ask a kid and she would say that it was love that Shahid and Kareena felt for each other in “Jab We Met”. Ask me and I would narrate you the story of “Maine Pyar Kiya” and how I had my first crush on Salman Khan after watching that movie. Movies have impacted our lives in a lot of ways. Even though we try hard not to believe in what is shown on the silver screen, we still build castles of dreams based on what we see in movies. Movies to an extent deviate from real life and tend to fantasize, but still reel life is not so different from real life :)


Love according to the previous generation had a totally different meaning. Even though the hero and heroine liked each other, it would take them 3 hours (of the movie) to express that. Hero is usually a poor chap with a single widow for a mother. Heroine is the only daughter to a big industrialist. Heroine’s father is against their marriage and the story revolves around their union or separation. Sometimes, heroine is poor or brought up in a brothel, but that would not hinder the spirits of our “Pyaasa” hero, thirsting for love. But the heroes do anything and everything possible to be with their woman. They take extreme steps and sacrifice their lives sometimes to marry that one lady love of theirs. They even drown themselves in alcohol, the way Dilip did in “Devdas“. In some cases, the heroine stops fighting and marries a different man giving heed to her parents’ wishes in a “Kabhi Kabhie” style. This is probably what happened in Kal. It would take immense courage to like a girl and propose her. It would also need a big nerve from the girl’s side to accept this proposal and go against the wishes of her parents. There were movies where the hero would not hesitate to sacrifice his love so that his lady love “Chandni” could lead a happy life.

Now let’s look at Aaj – our generation. There was a time when I watched “Maine Pyar Kiya” as a kid and assumed I would fall in love with someone who would be my best friend, the way Salman is to the heroine. I thought this exactly was how my love story was going to be. But do you think any boy in this generation would leave his family and parents for a girl? Would he toil day and night, when he is stinking rich, just for the sake of his lady love? I always thought these things actually happened in real life, when I was young. Every girl who watched “Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge” in school thought her knight in shining armor would take her away against her parents’ wishes. She never felt that the boy of her dreams could leave her just because he was scared that her parents will not agree for an inter-caste marriage. Nor did she think that a simple misunderstanding could make the guy leave her, forever. Reality strikes upon you, only when you get old enough to understand that all this was crap. There is nothing called true love and your dream boy just stays in your dream. Not that no guy exists who would fight for his girl. But there exists no guy who meets all your expectations. You have to compromise for something or the other.

Most guys like to have girl friends, so that they can show off in front of their friends. As soon as the word “marriage” is taken out, they get into a fix. Usually guys like their “space” and “independence” and visualize marrying at the age of 40, but by the time they reach 30, all the nice girls are married with kids. Commitment is something that totally freaks them out. It is easier to say “I love you”, than saying “Will you marry me”. The question to be asked is will they fight for their girl, if the entire world is against their marriage? Will a guy act like Aamir in “Dil” or “Qayamat se Qayamat Tak“? He might in rare cases but there are more chances that their marriage will crumble like it does in “Saathiya“.

I have seen plenty of real life examples of a rich girl marrying a poor boy. These “Raja Hindustani”s do end up with a rich girl, but their life is not so rosy. Parents have disowned their children in such marriages. The society is becoming broad-minded but it still has to go a long way before the rich-poor and the caste system’s interference in marriages vanishes. I never believed that a girl and a guy could actually fall in love by looking into each other’s eyes, the way it happens in movies. But when you see or experience this happening in real life, you know that there is a thin line separating the reel and the real life.

As soon as “Dil to Pagal Hai” got released, all the school and college crushes revolved around finding their “Maya” and later realizing they had found not one, but dozens of Mayas 😮 College crushes are not exactly “love”. All those who thought they were in “love” understood this, when their Aishwarya left them for Devgan (like “Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam”), only because he was better and they realized that it was not “love” afterall 😛 Not all heart-broken people attempting to suicide, find their Kareena on a train (like “Jab We Met”). Do they? :) Best friends always end up liking each other and “Kuch kuch hota hai” between them. This theory even though flawed, is not completely flawed. Most of the times, friendship is the stepping stone for love. When you want to spend some time alone with that special friend and you are totally comfortable with that, you are hardly friends anymore.

But I doubt if there will ever exist any couple like “Veer Zaara” in real life. It just seems so unbelievable. Leading a lonely life is so frightening that people inevitably end up finding a new partner, after losing one. Instead of such ‘fairy tale’ movies, one should picturize something realistic. Boy and girl do fall in love, but no boy leaves his rich dad for his love, nor will the boy fight for the girl and ruin his own life. It is parents, who remind their children time and again about their future and all they get back are blank stares from their children. Children usually have no idea what is happening in their life, until parents give them an ultimatum for marriage. A boy will never run behind a girl, acting like a “Devdas”. In movies, a hero tries to woo his arrogant heroine by following her, singing and teasing her. Just because a guy is irritating in real life, girls do not start liking him, the way heroines do in movies. The guy would instead receive some kicks and slaps :)

Why can’t they make movies more realistic? Prepare girls for what lies ahead in life. Instead of making them dream about their ideal boy, make them realize that no dream boy exists. Make them aware of the fact that no knight in shining armor is going to take them away. There are hardly any “happily ever after” these days. And this is where the similarity between reel life and real life ends. Real life is harsh, crude and more hurting than reel life. Wish movies would stop showcasing such impossible, fairy tales.

“Hum ek baar jithe hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai, aur pyar….ek hi baar hota hai” from the lover boy, SRK himself :)

~By Dexcius (check this to know more about me and the legend of Indiana Legends)



82 thoughts on “Love in Bollywood

  1. Ashwathy Reply

    Very nicely written… I really enjoyed reading this one :-)

    And yes I agree… movies (atleast earlier) were completely off their rocker. But now I’d say movies are a little more realistic in nature.

    I liked the love portrayed in Dil Chahta Hai, Wake up Sid, Dostana (interesting mix of friendship and love) etc. They arent perfect… but life is shown a lot more contemporary in those situations. I loved the concept of romance Ajab Prem ki gheazab kahani and karthik calling karthik as well, although neither of them were movies focused on romance. Jab We Met was one movie I enjoyed… and I guess at some level that is what we all wwant… have a partner who is also a best friend…

  2. Leo Reply

    this was awesome! not long n boring at all. raiders on a roll. good one Ava.! :)

    *looks for the like button* :)

  3. Hitesh Rawat Reply

    every movie brings a revolution especially among the youth………..

    now wonder you fell for Salman….as many did……then for SRK after Bazigar…..

    me…..i fell for Amisha while watching “Kaho Naa Pyar Hai” ….. well still trying to recover……..well this is bollywood….and this is Indian Youth

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      yep every movie does bring a revolution. Oh yeah KNPH reminds of all the girls who were crazy about Hrithik, I wasnt crazy about him though.

  4. dmanji Reply

    You are right Bollywood love stories are not closer to reality …but people in bollywood are dream sellers… mainstream cinema …for realistic themes we have a separate genre right…though today the lines are getting blurred with movies getting close to reality….
    BTW I have seen at least one Train Love story JMW style :)

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Yeah they are dream sellers :) A real train story you mean? :) Why dont you make a post on that? It will be interesting to read a real love story.

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  6. Lazy Pineapple Reply

    Lovely post…
    I feel that we go to movies to escape from reality of life. The heart breaks the difficulties and hence all Hindi movies are over the top…sometimes it is fun to see unrealistic stuff..just to have some hope.

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks LP :) Yep sometimes I like watching silly movies for the same reason. They are stress busters and sometimes when you want to relax, you dont want to watch a serious movie. Even I like watching these masala movies lot of times.

  7. lostworld Reply

    Ashwini..I saw you posted after soo long & even though I had no intentions of reading blogs today I had to read yours :-) I know this is a serious post but you had me laughing at all your puns and sarcastic sentences !!! Too good.

    Shall I tell you a secret? One of my favourite movies of recent times is “Pyaar Impossible”!! I always had a thing for geeks.Not that I’m Priyanka C or a bombshell but I found that movie super sute & something I could relate to!!!! :-):-)Yeah now don’t make this public..wink!

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Yayyy.. thanks so much Ro :) I intended to make it a funny post, but it became kind of masala post too 😛 I am glad that it made you laugh. I was getting scared that it may become boring. Aha! you have a thing for geeks.. Even I have 😉 shh.. lets keep it a secret :)

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  10. Sree Reply

    A lovely take, incorporating the movie titles! :)
    And I love the movies as they are made, cos if they are as realistic as the life we live then why watch it? there wont be any thinking nor creativity, how much ever stereotypical it is…hey na?

    Enjoyed the filmi chakkar! :) All the best! :)

    PS: //Ask me and I would narrate you the story of “Maine Pyar Kiya”// this immediately made me calculate your age! 😉

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Sree :) Glad you liked it. Yep even I love watching these movies for timepass. These movies are stress busters since you dont have to apply any brain :)
      P.S: Hehe.. you cant guess my age. I dint watch it the year it was released. I watched it much later 😉

  11. PNA Reply

    What do I say…
    I simply loved the way you put it across.. :))
    Raiders are rocking…:)

  12. Pal Reply

    As usual, a very well written post !!! So true, about SRK taking the girl away , standing up against ‘society’. Hardly happens as both boys and girls chicken out so very often :-)

  13. Rumya Reply

    Nice post Ava!! In a short time you’ve done a lot of research and the outcome is good!! We’re rocking!!! You’ve covered almost every generation of Love Movies!! 😀 And how they have evolved over the years!!

  14. Neha Reply

    very nice post Avada..but it’s full of SRK :( I don’t like him :(


    good luck for the contest..:)

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Nehaaa 😀 Naah..SRK is the official lover boy of Bollywood na.. so cudnt skip mentioning him. I dont fancy him much either. My favourite is Sallu :) :)

  15. Shobhit Reply


    People (rather, youth) go crazy over movies in India. In fact, they go absolutely nuts over those actors/actresses.

    Yes, movies do portray a world of fantasy. Specially those which you mentioned here. But can’t these ‘un-realistic’ stories be a lesson or inspiration for our society towards change for the better ?

    If only people could be courageous enough to live out these fantasies in their lives, it would be a much better world. :)

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      :) Yeah youth really go crazy after actors/actresses right. Actually you are right Shobhit..I never looked at these movies in a positive way like that. People should learn from these movies. They really must take inspiration from these movies.

  16. Renu Reply

    very well written!

    Bachna A haseeno..this movie was quite real, only thing is that boys than nevr set out to rectify their mistakes.

    Life is like what happens in..Ghar,Silsila,Dhadkan etc.

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks a lot Renu :) Yep even I felt the first half of Bachna Ae Haseeno was realistic. The second half was unbelievable. Yep Ghar, Silsila, Dhadkan etc are some of the realistic movies.

  17. The Survivor Reply

    You seem to be quite a movie buff :)

    Very well put the meaning of love through different eras of movies.

    P.S. Did not know there was a BPL going on

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks a lot Survivor :) I am indeed a movie buff.. I have seen almost all the famous movies of every generation 😀 you can take part in the next edition of BPL. This was the first one and it was fun participating in this.

  18. Guria Reply

    You have really analysed and presented the subject well… Enjoyed reading!
    But one has to understand movies are essentially entertainment, and also a getaway from the everyday life making movies more idyllic than realist. One never can’t really put restrictions on it. And then, Love, that complex thing, when has it been the same for two people? :)

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks girlie 😀 Yep movies are just for entertainment. And these masala ones are good for timepass and must not be taken seriously. But as kids when we watch them, we have no idea that these are not real. Agree with you, love is so complex that it can never be the same :)

  19. Shilpa Reply

    Bollywood goes by the love bite and cashes heavily on it… but reality is very much different from it…Wish lovey dovey couples would understand 😀
    enjoyed reading your post.. :)

  20. Tavish Chadha( Reply

    well, i believe movies are made so that we can get out of the so called real world and get a chance to check of a world where the grass is greener… so its ok if these guys dont make movies which have anything to do with reality…

    Anyways I really liked the way you smoothly traversed through the history of bollywood and brought out so many movies which I have loved through the years… really enjoyed reading it…


  21. Bikram Reply

    excellent article.. so much info and ALL THE best for the contest :)
    bollywood shud make some reality tooo.. its too dreamy sometimes and whats shown doesnot always happen in real life :)

  22. sharmila Reply

    Exactly … movies are to watch for entertinment not for relating it to real life … esp. those big budget movies …. n off course exception are always there so few romantic movies like Jab we met … Jane tu ya jane na – wake up sid n some more are close to real life (n most often they are low in budget).

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Yeah the big budget are always like that.. fit only for timepass. I loved JWM :) It was kinda realistic. Even Jane tu ya jane ne and WUS were pretty close to reality :)

  23. Gyanban Reply

    Very interesting post AK – love has chanced meaning scope and premise over the years not only for movies but for our society as well – which also means the sense of hypocrisy has also not changed over the years isnt it ?

    Good stuff.

  24. The Fool Reply

    I am getting a deja vu feeling that I have already read and posted my comments. But I don’t see my comment. So I guess it was really a deja vu only.Well, nice analysis and I like the conclusion.

  25. Niveditha Reply

    I seemed to have missed commenting on yours though I read it earlier!
    Anyway, love/lovers/stories everything has changed in bollywood through time!
    From pyar hua ikrar hua to ishq kameena, love also has passed through a series of emotions!
    Nice post! :)

    Interesting name, coming from a harry potter fan! 😉

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Niveditha :) Yep love stories have changed a lot over these years. Now there is so much of smooching in the movies that I sometimes dont feel like watching them. I like the old movies which were so emotional :)

  26. VeNkY Reply

    Perhaps this the most sane post I have come across in BPL.

    Love is such an over-rated feeling esp romantic love!

    But fairy tales do happen. The probability of the Universe forming was so minuscule that it was zero, but it still happened.

  27. VeNkY Reply

    This is the most sane post i have come across so far.

    But rare things do happen. The probability of the universe coming into existence was so minuscule that it was zero, but it still happened

    sometimes it is nice to believe in rare things.

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Venky 😀 I am sooo glad that you liked it. When I wrote, I thought it might be a very boring post. I am so happy that people agree with me on the unrealistic movies front.
      Yep fairy tales do happen. I have seen some people giving their life, just because they were not able to marry someone they wanted etc. So sometimes these things do happen in real life, but rare.

  28. Deeps Reply

    Brilliant post! I was nodding my head in agreement while reading each point you raised.

    Talking about realistic movies, I did feel Mahesh Manjrekar’s Astitva was dealt in a very mature and balance manner. It touched upon a very realistic subject.

    Glad to have come by your page :). Wish you all the luck for the contest :)

  29. Pawan Reply

    Spice, dance and romance, that too in Hindi.
    I’m not very familiar with Bollywood movies even though I saw a few of them. So that means this post makes literally no sense to me 😀

    But I must say, when compared to the the other teams ur post excels by a fair margin :)

    Cheers to that!

  30. Shalini Reply

    DDLJ – in spite of all the over-action and reaction and exaggeration, that is still my fav! Lately, my fav is Jab We Met… the chemistry b/w the lovers is just awesome!
    BTW, a rocking post!

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks so much Shalini and welcome to my blog :) Same with me.. I love watching DDLJ and JWM repeatedly, even though I know such things dont happen in real life :) I guess they have this feel-good factor that makes us watch them.

  31. Harini Reply

    You know, all these movies ruined me. I kept dreaming about that perfect someone and blah blah… you wake up and realize life isnt like that :P. Some movies atleast should have normal life stories with real people… atleast some 😛

  32. Prasad Reply

    Awesome post! We need some fantasy movies to forget the real life around us. But the gaze of the teens, who are immature, are vulnerable to these kind of films. Also, the media is supporting the stars for their skin show, making the teens to go on imagining them as ‘icons’. The media & films say that they those made up faces are the most beautiful we can see. This makes the people ignoring the normal faces they see in the real world, raising their expectations. This creates the craze over ‘them’, and trying to be like ‘them’, especially young girls.
    My cousin had to shoot a short film for a contest in Zee. He need an actress to act in that, giving an ad for recuirtment in chennai. I just went along with him (bird-watching!). We expected some around 10, but for our shock nearly 50 girls came there. Youngest is 17 and the oldest being 31. Most from Mumbai. As he selected a girl, after screening some 30 girls, he had to announced the rest to leave. That sight was gut-wrenching. Some broke down, some staring at the door, and lot more diff reactions. What has driven them here? Obviously the obsession about the glamour being a film start. We see only the winners. A lot end up in brothels.

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Prasad :) Agree completely with what you said.. That is really sad these days.. Teens are following the so called stars these days.. so true.. And I totally agree with the trying to be like stars craze going on these days.. 50 girls showed up for that film? wow! And you are right.. lot of them do end up in brothels and many more try to do all sorts of things to get into movies, thereby ruining their life..

      • Prasad Reply

        This is not the only thing ruining the youngsters. All that we can do is to give some awareness as much we know. May be blogging can do.

  33. Astatine Reply

    Awesome post…
    All chocolate and roses movies that make life seem so wonderful, even if it is for just three hours. But yes, we need to understand where celluloid stops and brain cells should take over.
    And we need Part 2 of all these movies..where Raj and Simran meet a divorce lawyer, Maya meets Rahul’s mom and fights over whether the rotis are round enough or when Anjali gets too fat to play basketball with Raj and Geet wonders if would have been the better choice when Shahid stays late in the office each night.
    Have you watched Before Sunrise and its sequel Before Sunset? Loved them.

    • Avada Kedavra Reply

      Thanks Astatine.. I am glad you liked the post :)
      lol @ part 2 of these movies idea.. hehe.. we should come up with second part of these movies.. what say? we should write a post on how these love stories would end, a different ending to each love story 😉 like how Anjali starts mistreating Rahul’s daughter Anjali etc..
      I havent seen those movies.. should watch them..

  34. Astatine Reply

    Awesome post…
    All chocolate and roses movies that make life seem so wonderful, even if it is for just three hours. But yes, we need to understand where celluloid stops and brain cells should take over.
    And we need Part 2 of all these movies..where Raj and Simran meet a divorce lawyer, Maya meets Rahul’s mom and fights over whether the rotis are round enough or when Anjali gets too fat to play basketball with Raj and Geet wonders if would have been the better choice when Shahid stays late in the office each night.
    Have you watched Before Sunrise and its sequel Before Sunset? Loved them.

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